Things I've learned since I've been here

What I’ve Learned . . . Things that are different on my own ~

Sometimes you have to say things 4 times – as a stage manager – lessons from Cole on Scramble –
“I’m not saying 15 minutes 4 times. What I’m saying is ‘Shut up. I have something to say. And what I have to say is – we have 15 minutes.”
· I am healthier on my own
· And yet I smoke more (because I can)
· I am cleaner
· I take care of my personal stuff in a more timely manner
· Social anxiety does exist, I do have it, and instead of thinking of it as something that is curable I need to start thinking of it as something that I am going to have for the rest of my life, so it’s more of a continuing journey of the best way to deal with it, then it is “I have to fix this”
· I still can’t get to work on time. I need to work on it. I need to work on it in some other way than beating myself up because obviously it doesn’t work. Something else that doesn’t work is setting my alarm clock 3 hours early. Obviously I am not going to get up and go running and get some work done. One thing at a time. Let’s start with getting to work on time. Then let’s go to getting to work 10 minutes early. Then we can start setting the 3 hours early, running/swimming/working/cleaning/fixing lunch and dinner thing. However I still don’t know what the proper course would be. Do I just set the alarms that I have for the right time? Do I buy another alarm (or several)? How do I do this?
· I read people better than I think I do
· I have better teaching instincts than I think I do
· I really do have a lot of experience
· I really do know absolutely nothing at all
· I love my fellow interns very much
· I don’t trust as easily as I used to
· I really am almost 25. And almost 25 is a lot different than 21. It just really is.
· I still get home sick
· I sometimes, still, forget to breathe.
· I sometimes, still, forget to remember where I come from, that I have my own style, my own way of doing thing.
· The phrase “That’s the way I’ve always done it” is still a red flag, but it doesn’t mean that things that have worked in the past won’t work in the future.
· I listen to music more. It has a profound effect on me.
· I hate text messaging, but it’s my major form of communication with my boss
· I’m still just as lost about what path I’m supposed to take as I ever was. Coming here did not clarify that. If anything, it only confused me further. It has just reinforced the fact that I love teaching and I’m good at it. Great.

More to add to this list later

~ Laura J (Roux)